Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Riding the funk train, and I'm not talking music

This morning I woke in a funk. A big one. Now don't get me wrong- I swung my legs over the same side of the bed I always do, but I swear, this morning things felt different... Even the floorboards groaned, due, I think, to the weight of my mood (as a skinny girl, I don't think it was my body weight).

Poor Anevay, having to deal with monster mom this morning. I'm sure she was thanking her lucky stars she had school. I clenched my jaw on our walk to the train, but did emit a couple of barking sentences and questions. "Did you remember your homework folder?" has probably never sounded so horrific.

After returning home- which is where my 'office' is- I made a cup of tea and got to work on a few orders I have to send out (a few custom orders- go to my store for an idea of what sort of things I made). My head, however, due to the sinus cold I'm suffering (not made any better after my night out this past weekend), cut down on my productivity. I only finished a couple of orders before needing to go pick up Anevay from school.

Tonight I had planned on attending a PTA meeting, but when even making eye contact with other parents proved painful, I decided it was best to get my stuffed-up self back home...

On our way home, Anevay chattered on about her day, telling me about a plan she had come up with to make a machine so that she might launch food to hungry people on the other side of the world. Under normal circumstances, this would have generated a healthy conversation. Today, however, I could barely form a grunt.

Anevay eyeballed me warily.

"You OK, Mama?"

Even this set me off.

"I'm fine, Anevay."

We walked the rest of the way in silence, and I had to grit my teeth to keep from making a comment to Anevay about how she was shuffling her feet.

Once home, I made dinner (a quick meal of Dr. Praeger's veggie burgers, which are awesome) and a thought occurred to me:

I LOVE MY KID. I LOVE WHEN SHE IS HAPPY. IT IS WITHIN MY CONTROL RIGHT NOW TO PULL MYSELF TOGETHER FOR HER.

And so, I pulled the whole mind over matter trick.

Guess what? It worked!!

No, I can't take back how grumpy I was with Anevay today. And I certainly won't win any mom of the year awards, even after righting my upturned mood. I've always been a moody person (just ask my parents, bless them, for putting up with me when I was a teenager). But having a kid means I need to keep it reigned in. They say practice makes perfect, right? Well, I'm practicing, really, I am. I'm training as though I were about to run in the Olympics...

This evening I can and will be a happy go lucky mama, even if it kills me (do sinus colds ever kill people?). But maybe, just maybe, I'll actually get over myself enough to enjoy it! Maybe my bad mood will lift... if there's no negativity for it to adhere to, perhaps it will just float away?

Thoughts? How do other single parents keep the ugly grumps at bay? For that matter, how does any person keep a nasty attitude from inflitrating an otherwise normal day? (normal, in my case, except for the sinus cold)

3 comments:

  1. Every morning with my dear daughter I'm sure the moment I drop her off at school is a sigh of relief for her. Mornings are not fun at my house - too hurried, too rushed, too many raised voices.

    Good for you for pulling yourself out of the funk! Thanks for stopping by my blog, hope to see you again soon.

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  2. I've been dealing with the head cold for about 5 days now! Talk about cranky. I've also reached that point where I have no voice (or sound like a serious smoker) and my kids are totally taking advantage of it. They laugh when I try to tell them what to do - cuz I can barely get it out.

    They have their moments and we have ours but I'm sure they know we always love them.

    PS- been waiting to see your updates on my reader but haven't been getting them?? Glad I came and checked anyway. ;)

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  3. Thanks, Vinomom... yes, I agree with mornings being too rushed. We always seem to be torn asunder by time!! I am, however, so accustomed to being late for everything that I've learned how to slow down a little...

    And MindyMom... I also sound like a serious smoker- yikes!! I'm new to the whole blogging thing, and so I'm not even sure what you mean when you write 'reader'... I feel like I need a blog tutorial! Any pointers?

    Thanks!

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