Already going against my own decisions.

This past weekend, I decided to be a little more selfish. I'm fully aware of how this sounds, but after years of cultivating friendships that are mostly one-sided, I had had enough. I realized that the amount of time I spend on people who aren't often there for me, should be shifted to the people who truly matter... my family and good friends.

Yet perhaps the problem isn't that I want to share myself with people, only that I've expected things in return? Today, as usual, I turned to Hafiz, who's words I often read for comfort. I opened to this poem:

It happens all the time in heaven,
And some day

It will begin to happen
Again on earth-

That men and women who are married,
And men and men who are
Lovers,

And women and women
Who give each other
Light,

Often will get down on their knews

And while so tenderly
Holding their lover's hand,

With tears in their eyes,
Will sincerely speak, saying,

"My dear,
How can I be more loving to you;

How can I be more
Kind?"

And so, today I'm left to wonder, is it really that horrible a thing to continue loving people? My life is full- I am happy. Why not share the wealth, even to those who haven't quite figured out the art of selflessness?